Thursday, September 09, 2004

I'm Not Hostile I'm Bitter...

Oooohhh, I remember what I don't like about visiting my parents house--their neighbors. Ms. "If I'm in the same room with my husband when he sneezes I get pregnant" and her husband, Mr. "Look at me in all my yuppie manliness." Yeah, I didn't think there were yuppies anymore either, but turns out there are two left. They have FOUR beautiful, perfect featured children all a year apart from each other. Lucy, Finnegan, Ivy Rose and Coco Michelle. All with caramel colored hair and dark brown eyes. Oh, and did I mention that they are all well behaved! Gasp! And Mr and Mrs Perfect are nice, loving parents! The tragedy! The horror! I am hiding my jealousy well aren't I?

Then there are the other neighbors. They adopted a wonderful little boy from Kazakstan so they thought, hey lets go out and get another! So they go back and bring back a beautiful, little 3 year old girl named Beeba, who, I'm pretty sure is the spawn of Satan. She is conniving, no, diabolical. I overheard her say, "You better do what I say or I will get you in trouble with Mom." This was a concept she could express in a brand new language, just six months or so after learning it. Scary. I make light of it, but I am serious, she is like Damian.

My only solace? With names like Ivy Rose, Coco and Beeba I know where they're headed. (See post "The Name You Give Your Child May Lead Them to a Life of Crime") Mwoohohahaa!!!

1 comment:

Brina said...

I like the "plan-laugh" at the end... Poor things, who names their kids those sorts of things? I think you have totally nailed it about the life of crime thing. I had one the other day, John Johnson. That's just dooming your kid to a stuttering problem... LOL!