Tuesday, September 21, 2004

I'm Leeeaving On a Jet Plane, Don't Know When I'll Be Baaaaack Again (sung with very off keyed enthusiasm)

Ok, so I know when I will be back--Sunday-- but I had to keep the integrity of the song. I will miss my BLOG and I will miss the blogs that I read everyday. I wish I knew how to link them to my blog. If anyone of my wonderful 5 faithful readers (I adore you!!!), has blogspot and knows how to make that list in the margin that you can highlight on it and then go to that site, please let me know. If you do try to explain it to me, make sure you use very small words, no technical terms and it would probably be a good idea to use fewer than 3 syllables. Also some people say, "Look at this" on their website, then you click on this and it goes to another website. How do they do that? Is it magic? Where can I get some?

So, today I went to the pharmacy. I had a brilliant idea for my camping/melting progesterone problem---I would buy the same thing but in a non refridgerated form--Brilliant!! So I went to pick it up and the pharmacist said, "You know this is $189 right?" After I came to--thank God I was in the safety of a pharmacy and around trained professionals, I said, "Um, no....." Hmmmm lets weigh our options. On one hand I could spend $189 and not have to figure out how to keep my "bullets" from melting on the plane ride, but also have 0 money for fun. On the other hand I could buy a ziplock bag and some ice and pocket the remaining $....... Not really a tough choice. I like to think of myself as clever and $180 richer. "How about I take these 2 of these ziplock baggies and I'll call you in the morning, Ha Ha." The pharmacist didn't think I was funny. Sigh, oh well they can't all be gems.

My skin is really broken out. I think it's from all the hormones. When I was in high school I took Accutane. What a God send that was. Wiped out my really bad acne in just four months. I can't wait to take it again. You CANNOT take it while trying to conceive or this will happen. I am sorry, that was rude. I wasn't trying to trick you by having you click on the this I just really just wish I could link. If I could and you hit this I would link to the side effects page of the Accutane warning. It shows a drawing of a conehead baby. It is really scary. Every single pill has a picture covering the tinfoil part, where you pop the pill out, of a pregnant lady and a giant "universal symbol for no" over it. And when you do take it, you have to get monthly blood pregnancy tests. They are very serious about it. When I took Accutane, I was a practicing virgin in Catholic High School, but much to my shame, they still made me test. I guess you can't be to careful.

So tomorrow I.....Hang on......(insert "hold music" here). OK, someone on 911 interrupted my train of thought. The nerve. Ya know, I live in California, I love CA, my brother is a CHP officer, but I gotta tell you, CHP dispatchers, for this area, kinda suck. I am sorry if you know and love one, but let me back up my opinion.

1) My brother got into a foot pursuit, put it out over the air and his dispatcher told him she couldn't help him because her screen showed him off duty.

2) My brother had armed and dangerous person at gunpoint and called for back up. Dispatcher told him, "Standby unless you have emergency traffic." "Affirm!" "Standby" My husband ended up calling for back up on his cell phone--that's so wrong!

3) They often transfer us (municipal police dispatchers) calls that don't belong to our agency, then when we say, "CHP are you still on the line, this isn't ours" They have mysteriously dropped off.

4) And finally what just happened. CHP-"I have a caller on Wheeler who says she's in [my city]" Me-"We don't have a Wheeler. Where is the cell tower?" C-"Bascom and W. San Carlos" M-"That is in San Jose" "Well that doesn't mean anything, the cell tower can be up to 5 miles away from the caller." M-"Ok, but that is still 95 miles from here, it can't be mine." (long pause) CHP-"So your not going to take it then?" Me-"No!" Click. Unbelievable.

Wow, I got way off topic. I digress, where was I.... Oh, yeah tomorrow, my plane leaves from San Jose in the evening and arrives in Portland OR. Then we are camping. In the rain. Joy.
Actually, it should be fun. My 2 BILs and 1 SIL, who will pick me up at the airport, are camping experts. Apparently its going to be very cold. I whine when it gets cold, ask my husband. I will try so hard not to complain. If I get too miserable I can always rough it in a Holiday Inn.

Well, that's all for now, my insane rantings have tired me out. Besides, my officers keep interrupting me. The nerve. I just notice a "link" button. I am going to try it. this. OMG it worked!!!!! It's OK don't be afraid, it's not a trick! This is the link I wanted to put in the beginning. Scary birth defects, huh? I am so excited, not about the birth defects, about linkage! I am going do so many links!!!! Still gotta go, bye!


Anonymous said...

I can't imagine trying to do your job while on these crazy hormones. My hat is off to you! Have fun on your camping journey.
Vintage Uterus

Jen P said...

I'm so glad you discovered that link button!!! If you want to do it by hand, I can send you some easy instruction via email. I tried here but it actually thought I was posting links. Sometimes these things are TOO smart for their own good.

Hope your trip is lots of fun!! and that the pessaries don't melt and it's a safe trip and you get back in one piece!