Excuse Me While I Slip Into Something More Comfortable....Like a Paper Towel

No matter how clever and witty this post may be, the original was better. I did the the same thing as yesterday and I accidently deleted the whole thing. It was really funny. Oh well.

So I went to the doctor this morning and I was happy to be his first appointment of the day. And yet, still I waited for 20 minutes. It's a conspiracy. So I walk into the room and I see the paper "blanket". "Oh no," I said to the nurse, "not again, I swear there is nothing new in there!" She smiled politely. "Can't this be a clothed visit? I haven't been in stirrups this much since the summer of '94 when I tried horseback riding. Ha, ha, ha. (Uncomfortable silence.) Ahem, Ok, so I'll be in here if you need me. I'll be the half naked one wearing a cocktail napkin." Sigh. So Doc H comes in and checks out my tonsils through my hoo-ha, (they are still fine, by the way). Says everything looks great. Like normal woman great, not IF great. Our plan of action: December, January and February we'll mate like rabbits, (me and Chris not me and the Doc), then if that doesn't work we start with IUI in March. No clomid. No way. Just rabbit/OPK/Robitussin/white bullets/head stands. Not gonna do the BBT thing because I sleep during the day and am awake and night and I just don't have the patience to figure out when to take my temp. Maybe I'll do that in the Spring some time... You know what is sad? All I want for Christmas is an electronic Ovulation Predictor Kit. Oh goodie!

OK, so I am about to rant about something waaaaay off topic. If you get a chance take a look at the cover of this week's US. It says "Jessica [Simpson] Got Skinny!" Or some B.S. like that. She was already skinny now her ribs are showing! What did they think she was before? Husky? Thick? Gargantuan? And you know the person who wrote that is some slob sitting in their tiny cubicle behind their crappy desk, gorging on McCheeseburgers. You'd think they could have an ounce of consideration their readers and for what a real woman is. But no, they are too busy being bitter about the career path they have chosen to realize that the average female is size 10 not 2. Ignorant! Pisses me off. Whew. I feel better now that I have vented.

Speaking of "fluffy/fat"... And now I will close with yet another dog story. I have this bathrobe I like to wear, (Mom, you know the one) and Riley, the pleasantly plump puppy, always attaches the side of her 65 pound body to my leg when I wear it, where ever I go. Sometimes she actually walks inside the bathrobe if I stand still long enough. Well, this morning I took off the robe and draped it over the edge of the bed to see what would happen. Yup, you got it she stayed with the robe. I came back later and found, she had pulled a tiny corner of it onto the floor and was curled around it snoring like a lumberjack. Mom, rememeber how Hobbes (our cat), used to put a piece of our terry cloth robes (whether we were in them or not), in his mouth and suck on it. Remember, he'd knead it with his front paws and make "gggggg" sounds deep in his throat? I have weird pets. Oh, well, I have to go back to work. Til Later!