Tuesday, January 11, 2005

Flatulence: Fun For Everyone!

I can't remember if I ever told you, but when we first got married, Chris made up the rule that we would have no belching and no farting in front of each other because it "kills the romance." Well, I told him whenever I became pregnant all bets were off--guess he thought I was joking...
I still don't feel pregnant. All those months of waiting for a sign! The things I can tell are different, easily could be chalked up to PMS a UTI or bad tofu. The only new thing is that I like to sleep in a tight ball on my side, and I can't any more. I can't really explain it, it doesn't hurt exactly, it is just uncomfortable. And OMG I gots the toots. So there we were in OSH looking for a tarp and I let one slip, real quiet. Chris goes, "These tarps smell like ass." And I say, "Oh, that would be me, sorry." Was he willing to let it go? No. I told him this is one of the early signs of pregnancy, I can prove it, (Sabrina, back me up, please!) I got out the book and everything! He told me I should have gone to a different aisle! So now hours later he keeps making fart noises and calling me Stinky. Fine, from now on I'm blaming it on the dogs.

My doctor abandoned me. I called up to get my first appointment and can you believe the nerve--he's on vacation!!! Shouldn't he be waiting for my call? No? OK. But you know what sucked? The nurse said we will see you at six weeks and then almost hung up. I was like, "Wait, what do I do? Should I keep doing the progesterone? Take vitamins?" She looked at my chart and said yes to both. What if I had stopped the progesterone??? I am really kind of ticked at them. Oh well. I sent an email to my doc that said "Congratualtions you're going to be a doctor."

I read pregnant women lose their minds and do strange things. I am starting to. I will end with the things I have done this week:

*Got out of the shower with soap still covering my right arm.

*Knocked over a display at the video store.

*Lost my keys, found them and then promptly lost them again.

*Misplaced my DVDs from blockbuster, only to have Chris find them in plain sight.

*Farted in OSH and blamed it on the sales guy walking by.

That is all for now, I have to go take a nap. Talk to ya later, bye!


Anonymous said...

Hehhehehehe! I said STOP it! Ya know, I can't just keep peeing myself every time I log on to your site. It is unhealthy for both body and mind (not to mention my couch!)

Jen P said...

First comes the flatulence...then comes the constipation. It's awful. awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwful. So I'm hoping it will treat you nicely.

As for the preggo brain, mine started about 5 weeks, hit really hard at 7 weeks and at almost 12 weeks...it's impressive the things I can forget. While talking. To someone. Their name? gone. What we were talking about? Gone. I call the cats objects. Bathtub (Andy) come here!

I'm glad to hear your symptom-less so far! Maybe you'll be spared the nausea and vomitting.

I loved the email you sent to your doctors. I hope he gets back soon. I don't know what the hell they think when they go on vacation.

Best wishes to you.

Brina said...

Yes, of all the things I can back you up on, it would seem it could be something other than gas... but NO, you ARE correct, and don't expect it to go away afterward. Or maybe it's just me... LOL