Friday, November 05, 2004

Smacked Upside the Head by the Hand of God

OK, I wanted to write this yesterday but my work computer wouldn't let me have both the internet and the 911 screen up at the same time. As much as I wanted to be online, I fully realize that saving lives takes priority:) So part of the reason, I knew I was infertile is because my body is a well working, finely tuned machine. Day 14 ovulate. Day 28 period. This is why I was able to plan the laproscopy a month ago. Today is day THIRTY THREE. For me that's huge. And again, not pregnant, (not that I am not thinking that every other second.) My thought pattern goes like this: Bleed damn it, or don't if I am pregnant....Bleed damn it or don't I am pregnant --in an endless loop. The first thing one may think is, I am stressing myself out and causing the delay. True, but my body normally doesn't react to stress by delaying my period. I am so used to running to the bathroom at this time of the month and praying, "Please God, no blood......." Then I look. Totally opposite this month. This is the FIRST time since starting TTC I have wanted this and it is weird. It is also ironic. OK God, I get it. Lesson learned. Joke's on me. I always want what I want, when I want it and this whole infertility is the only thing that is just not handed to me. Boy oh boy this is a lesson in futility. I am one of the most impatient people I know! On a brighter note, my boss was totally cool about it, here is her response:

We'll work around it, so don't worry about it. I hope your Dad has a speedy recovery. You can leave me a voice mail over the weekend and I'll be sure to call in for messages. If it has to be postponed, we'll just call off the people scheduled next week and see if they can work the following week. Take care and try not to stress out too much!

Isn't that great? And speaking of my dad he is doing great too. Came out of surgery fine and is already home. Well, I am done ranting. 'Night.

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