My Belly-Button Has Declared War on Me

**Very loooonng post. I have over a week of "catching up." Please, grab a cup of coffee, splash some cold water on your face, and join me. I understand if half way through you feel the need to jog around the block and do some brief stretches. Let us begin:

My belly-button--it hurts!!!! Not bad-enough-to-call-the-doctor hurts, just annoying-cut-it-out-already hurts. It feels like I did a hundred sit-ups, but I have no six pack abs to show for it. I have soooooooo much to say, where do I begin? My Lap, went really well. Doc H found endometriosis and burned it away. He says my uterus looks beautiful, (stop I'm blushing) and he did a hydro-chromo-tubation, which is like a mini-HSG, and he says the dye flew through my tubes, no problem. Can I just say I love this man for doing that procedure? Remember my insurance wouldn't cover the HSG so he said, if I did a Lap, he would "sneak" that in there. He kept telling me to remind him, because he doesn't normally do them during Laps. I reminded him the day before, and he had forgotten. So I called him into admitting on the day of, "Oh, yes, thank you for reminding me, I had forgotten." Chris wanted to write it on my belly in magic marker, but I thought that was just plain pushy. I didn't want to nag. I used a ball point pen instead--much more discreet, and it washed off easier. Speaking of washing things off easily.... If you have not yet had a laproscopy, but do one day in the future, allow me to give you some advice. That glue that holds your incisions together? Don't scrub that off. And if you decide you must, don't for the love of God, intentionally pull it off. Just because it can come off doesn't mean it should. Trust me. Learn from my mistakes. Moving right along, when I came out of surgery, Dr. H said not only was it a complete success, he thinks I should get pregnant in no time. Let me tell you why that frightens me. He has never been optimistic before. Never. He has always been vague and careful. Guarded and cautious. This unrestrained confidence, terrified me. I am going to remain skeptical. It's safer. Besides, I was kind of hoping for IUI. With Chris and my backwards schedules, we have more of a chance of me and a cup alone in a room together than he and I--any time soon. Speaking of which, like the finely tuned machine, my body is, I can tell I am ovulating. We aren't allowed to rendezvous until next week. Sigh. What a waste. We will begin trying again, "what-ever-happens-happens" in December and then insane-o with new and renewed vigor, as if starting all over again, fresh, in January. You heard it here folks, there will be OPKs bought, temperatures taken, headstands stood, nookie with passion-less abandon, wait that last one sounded wrong. Accurate, but wrong.... Anyway, you get the point. TTC is back in the house!!!!! Coming soon to a household near you!

And now some interesting (to me) things that have either happened or been on my mind this past week. Very random and in no particular order or relevance. Oh, how I missed my sweet, sweet BLOG.
**Today I found out my friend "S" has gone off the pill. She and her husband.. oh screw it, her name is Sarah and his name is Doug, its not like I told them about this BLOG-- Anyway, they announced that they have begun trying this month. Oh the nerve.They already have Derek who is 4. He was an "Oops" so I have no doubt she will be pregnant, after he breathes on her, and forgive me Lord but, I am already bitter--and I just found out hours ago. I'll be a raving lunatic by the time she conceives...next month. You get the point.
**Yesterday I saw my friend "D"s little boy, Trevor. Or shall I say, "Tomato Boy" or perhaps "Tank." He is one big round boy! And when he cries he gets all red like a tomato. He is already three months old now, can you believe it!! He is humongus. He dwarfs my friend B's 4 1/2 month old [seriously, B, no "dye pack" here]. I swear his head is the size of a large honeydew melon. I sniffed him. It was a wasted sniff but I did it anyway, just in case. "D" calls him mullet head. You know the hairdo part short, part long--business up front, party in the back.
**While I was laid up in bed this past week, Chris called in the entire time off, and pampered me. I got home cooked meals, any movies I wanted, hot chocolate daily and he even tucked me in.
** These are the movies that I watched this week: Elf,(****(4 stars))"Cotton headed ninny muggins!!!!" The Chronicles of Riddick, (*) Shrek 2, (****) 13 Going on 30, (****) Frakenfish,
(-*** I don't know what I was thinking. I am going to chalk that one up to the Darvocet) The Clearing(*1/2), The Stepford Wives (**1/2), Van Helsing (worse than Frakenfish. Yes, that bad.), Home on the Range, I watched this one under duress. Chris loves cartoons. I only like certain ones like ones done by Pixar or the Shrek-type.
**These are the CDs I bought: Breaking Benjamin, Perfect Circle, Flogging Molly, Papa Roach, Crossfade.
**As I said in my last post, Sean is going through a "Train Phase" so Chris and I bought him a new Thomas the Train pop-up book. We both went over to hand deliver it and Sean loved it. He yelled, "Wow! Trains! Thanks Chris!!!" Much to Chris' delight and my chagrin. Thank God we ended up buying the one that was only five pages long, because I swear I have read that thing to him at least ten times. He takes it everywhere. That day he "made" each of us take turns reading it to him. I loved it when it was Chris' turn. Got me a bit misty eyed, that did.
**I have decided I will not write a BLOG entry on my opinions, politically speaking. I was going to but I have decided: no political insights here. Nor, I have decided am I going to "let" Chris do an entry on his views, though he is welcome to in the comments section if he chooses.
**Took my adorable Pitt Bull puppy to the vet for her booster shots. Or should I say my Fatt Bull. "Your dog is 10-15 pounds over weight." Ah, just like her Mom, sniff, sniff. She weighs in at a hefty 70 #s. Let me share with you her current nicknames: Fat Ass, Snausages, Lil Porker, Holstein, Fattie. She is so cute though! Sean was sitting on the floor last night and she backed up and then sat in his lap! She is at easily 2 times bigger than him and weighs at least twice as much. It was hilarious, Sean just looked confused. Luckily she is very "front heavy" so he wasn't flattened or injured in anyway. She adores him, even when the game was, "Bury Riley under a stack of UNO cards and then jump on her" She loves him so much.
**I've been meaning to note, when I say OMG, for me that means Oh-my-gosh. And when I say things like "WTF?" or "f*&%ing" I must blame this on my 10th grade religion teacher, who taught me, "Cussing is not a sin, it's just vulgar." As a Christian, I try not to sin. But hey, I can live with being a little "vulgar" from time to time.
**I got the last of my layers cut off and I now have a really cute all one length hair cut. Kind of a long bob. Next I am going to dye it from light brown with a blonde streak, that it is now, to dark brown with a fire engine red streak. So, when I got my hair cut, the nice Asian lady said. "You need your eyebrow done" (I am going to hope that was a language barrier...) So I said, if you've got the time, I've got the money, and a beautiful relationship was born. My eyebrows look fantastic! I will even forgive her comment, of "You aw one a ha-wy woman." No, I am just Portuguese. I made her laugh, despite our language differences. She said, "You come back in two week or so, I do again." I said, "You don't know me--I'll see you in a few days."

And finally in closing, I leave you with another funny "Sean Story." The following exchange took place out of my line of view, so I, like you had only the words to go on. Allow me to set the scene. Me, laying on the couch feeling sore. Alicia (Sean's mom) sitting across from me. Chris, cooking at the stove one room over, Sean one room farther than the kitchen, using the bathroom, (still a new skill, Chris later told me, "His dad needs to take him back to the firing range and work on his aim.")

Sean: Chris, what are you cooking?
Chris: Whoa, little man you need to pull your pants up.
Sean: I can't, (keeps walking into the kitchen)
Chris: At least pull up your underpants, there's food in here.
Sean: (grunt) Its not working! Mooooooom! I can't get my pants up!
Alicia: Uh-oh, wardrobe malfunction. Coming Sean! ( She quickly enters the kitchen to help, Chris returns to the stove, his back to Alicia and Sean.)
Sean: Hey, Chris, look! There are two balls here!!!
Chris: Say whaaaatt!?!?!!?!?
Alicia: Very good Sean, that's right, there are two TENNIS balls in Xena's food bowl. She must have left them in there to play with later.
Chris: Oh thank God.

And now we are all caught up. It is now 5:30 AM and I only have an hour and a half to go. I am sooooooooooooooooooo sleepy! Good Night All! Mwah!