HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME--HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO YOU!!!!!!!

I TURNED 30 TODAY, YES I AM STILL SHOUTING. SORRY. I am so excited--not about turning 30 of that I am depressed--I am excited to finally live in a neighborhood that I can answer the door to trick or treaters, without the fear of being robbed. Liam is going to be a duck. Chris is going to help me attach a picture of him in it later. Well, gotta go, Chris is buying me a door for my birthday. I'll explain that later too.

I Am Not a Bad Mom; I Just Play One On TV

So apparently Liam has something against Raley's. Either that or cheese. I fed him, changed him loaded him up in the car, where as normal, he promptly fell asleep and began our trek to the grocery store. Normally after feeding him, I have 3 hours, at worst an hour and 45. So halfway through our outing at about 40 minutes in, while we were in the produce aisle, he wakes up and goes from 0 to 60 in 10 seconds on the scream meter. He woke up starving. The kind of starving that in his mind leads him to believe he may never ever be fed again. Well, I didn't bring a bottle and I was only half way through shopping. So I am running through the store, throwing things in the cart and everywhere I go I hear people:

"Oh, that baby is so hungry!"

"You can tell, from that cry that poor baby is so hungry."

and my personal favorite:

"I am not even a Mom, but I think that baby sounds hungry."

I consider whipping out a boob on aisle four but thought better of it. I didn't get to finish and I beared angry and reproachful stares all the way out the door. I get home to cook dinner and I don't have any cheese. Every single reciepe I was considering for the night had cheese. I had quesedillas sans quesa... So I had Dillas which really sucked, but Liam ate great that night...

So yesterday, I feed Liam and made a break for Raley's again, this time AFTER Liam is sound asleep. AND I have a bottle just in case. He did so good the whole time... Almost. Until we got to the final item on my list---the cheese. He started screaming. No fuss, no gentle subtle baby wakings. Well this time I let people glare and I went up to the cheese, and threw THREE different kinds of cheese into the cart. Triumphant I said to Liam, "Ha! I got the cheese!!!" To which some old lady turned around and gave me a disapproving look. It wasn't until I got out the door I realized she must have thought I said, "Ha! I cut the cheese!!!" Sigh. Oh well the Quesedillas were really good.

I am the Baby Gym---FEAR ME ! ! !

So Liam is alert enough when he is awake that he needs some stimulation. I don't mind being that stimulation, reading and talking to him, but he gets bored with me. I think I embarass him in front of his friends. Of course, at this point his friends consist of the police cars on his mobile and his feet, so that may not be it. Maybe I am just not colorful enough.
So my friend Brina gave me her kid's floor mat/play gym, at least I thought she was my friend but now I am not so sure.... I put Liam on his back under the colorful hanging animals; a parrot, monkey, giraffe, elephant, a mirror and some other hanging toys. Can he see them? Oh yes he sees them. And he believes they are out to kill him. He seems to believe the giraffe is plotting his demise, the monkey wants to poke him in the eyes, the parrot may attack at any moment and that weird baby in the mirror won't quit staring at him. Don't even get him started on the crinkley sound that the elephant's ear makes when he moves or how if he kicks the music plays. It is all just part of a dark and sinister plot to off him. At least this is all what he believes. Thanks for the play mat Brina...really. I will be looking you up in 15 years when it is time to pay for his psychiatrist visits.

Blog Spammers Not Welcome! ! ! !

I don't care about your stupid camper shells, auto insurance, hair removal or medical miracles!!!! You stupid blog spammers can waste your time else where!!!! Where are these idiots coming from? The worst part is I can't even erase them all because I don't know where they are posting. When someone makes a comment, that comment gets sent to my email, but it doesn't say the date, so I can't always find and delete these jerks. Checked my email today and it was FULL of comments like "Wow, cool blog, I bookmarked it, now let me tell you about my camper shells." Dumb asses. OK, I am done venting. There is a reason I am so grumpy this morning. Last night at about 9:30 when I wasn't looking, someone snuck in and switched out my sweet well behaved angel baby for one that, had to be possesed or something. Liam cried almost non stop for THREE hours last night! Since he is usually so good, I was frustrated after about 20 min. He is very specific when he cries, pee or hunger is the reason for crying 80% of the time. Other times it is gas but that passes (ha ha) after no more than 15 min tops, so what happened? I asked the real Liam this morning, AKA happy smiling Liam, if he wouldn't mind filling out a comment card rating my services and placing it in the baby suggestion box, but he just smiled and farted at me. Boy that sucked. The whole time (boob, change, pat, bottle, swing, boob, change, pat, bottle, swing, boobchangepatbottleswingboobchangepatbottleswingboob... then tears lots of tears, most of them mine), I kept thinking, there is an easy solution and I am just not seeing it...I totally forgot, you put Liam in his car seat, drive around and he is out within minutes, seconds usually. I totally could have put him in the car, drove around and when he stopped, I could have even parked in the driveway, left the motor on, pulled out my pillow and a blanket and caught some ZZZs. I hope I never have to have another night like that. But I know I will, I just hope it is on a night when Chris is home! I am nervous, tomorrow is my 6 week doc appointment to check under the hood and make sure the stiches look good or have disolved and if everything looks OK. I am terrified it will hurt. I know it will hurt, I am afraid it will be really bad. Remember when I never had a catheter and I built it up in my head as being sooo bad and then I had one and it was worse? That is what I am worried about. Wish me luck. Well, I gotta go get some house work done, (as in reading the latest People mag and taking a shower), while the King sleeps. Til later!

ARE YOU KIDDING ME????? Literally seconds after I posted, FIVE blog spam comments appeared!!!!! Son of a motherless goat that PISSES ME OFF. I just added a feature that requires you to type in a word seen on the screen before commenting so only a real person can comment, no automated replies. I hope that works, the next option is to only allow members, but that would make me really sad, because I love when people "delurk" and comment. Hope it works.