No Belching, No Farting

Did I ever mention, Chris and I have a " no belching, no farting clause" in our marriage? Before we got married Chris said that we would not be doing these things, (this was shortly after a visit to our friend's house where "S" ran over and farted on "D"s leg), because they kill the romance. We are coming up on NINE years of marriage, this July 4th and I have still NEVER heard Chris fart or burp outside of the bathroom or occasionally during sleep. (Oh he's gonna kill me!) I on the other hand have been nicknamed "Stinky" on many occasions. What can I say, silent but violent, just doesn't happen for me...What was my point? Oh, unfortunately Liam seems to be getting all my bad traits. Stinky feet and massive flatulence. Well, wait, I don't have massive flatulence but, you know what I mean. He also has good traits from me like big brown eyes and strong opinions. From Chris, so far his hair and nails grown at an amazingly fast rate, he is VERY tough and he loves to be outdoors. So far so good, I think. I can deal with a little stank when it comes from such an awesome good natured baby!
Wow that was a totally random entry....

Jesus Died For Us

When I look down at the miracle that is my son, my breath catches and my chest tightens. I pray each night, "Please allow me to raise him to be emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually, intellectually and psychologically healthy. Please let me raise him to be a good Christian man. A warrior for you Jesus." I am able to do this because Jesus died for me. I am not worthy, but he thinks I am worth it. I am thankful for all that I have this Easter and every day. I pray that someday far, far in the future, Chris and I will be able to sit on a porch somewhere surrounded by Liam's children. There are no words to express my gratitude. This life I lead is amazing.

Hoppy Easter !

It's my Adorabunny! and my Pitt Bunny! The things I put this little guy through!!!!! Hmmm...what will I think of next????

Liam's First Love...

Meet Taylor, Liam's first girlfriend. Aren't they adorable!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Those of you who have been with me a while will remember Taylor's mom Dorothy. Remember she and I started "trying" at the same time? She was my next door neighbor and our husbands worked together? She had Trevor and then almost a year later to the day, I had Liam, and now here is Taylor. Oh, that year she was pregnant and we were still trying was soooooooooo long. If "past" me could see "present" me today, I would have passed out with joy. I still sometimes can't breathe when I look at Liam and think of all God has blessed my family with this last year. I said it before and I'll say it again; if this is all just a dream, I don't want to wake up.

Carseat Required !

This poor baby will tolerate anything! We were trying to take a picture of little man "behind the wheel" of my dad's new car, but failed to notice the seatbelt height. As you can see, he really wasn't impressed... Speaking of car seats, Liam went to his doc appt. on Monday and he is 19 pounds 14 oz, 27 inches long, which means time for the next car seat size soon, I think.

My Dream Guy

My dream guy has a bald patch, a pot belly and uncontrollable flatulence. He screams when he doesn't get his way and he demands to be PAMPERed. He constantly interupts me and won't let me sleep in. He loves long walks and lets me push him around. He bears a strong resemblence to the Michelin man. He has a bit of a drinking problem and often hits the bottle. My dream guy has only two teeth and a massive drooling problem. Doesn't he sound just perfect? Trust me--he is.

The Biggest Lap Dog...IN THE WORLD ! ! !

Riley has some self awareness issues. Apparently she thinks she is about the size of a Chihuahua and does not in fact weigh 75+. Hey, there is a reason we call my beloved pitt "Fat Ass." Unfortunately she is not known for her scholarly ways...Today Riley was sitting in front of Liam's swing and every time he swung forward he would kick her in the head. Sometimes Liam would even get a toe in Riley's eye. She just sat there, like, "Well, OK, guess this is the way it's gonna be." As Liam screamed in delight. And "they" say pitt's are all vicious...yeah right.

Jerry the Big Giraffe...

"His neck is looooooong, his legs are stroooooong." That is the song I often sing to Liam. He LOVES his giraffe. So as a special treat, when we went to the zoo yesterday, Jerry was reunited with his flock...(herd? gaggle? pack? school?) When Liam is older, we well show him these pictures and tell him how we rescued Jerry from a life of confinement and oppression. Ha! Just kidding.....Actually considering how much Jerry is chewed on, pulled on and thrown around, his life may have been less stressful at the zoo.

Kidney Stoned

Have you ever had a kidney stone? Hmm... No? Then perhaps you've had someone weighing approximately 300 pounds, pogostick on your kidney? It is truly a joy to behold.
So I had lunch with a friend, and everything seemed normal. Then I went home and OMG some invisible Mohammed Ali-like person punched me repeatedly in the left kidney. Thud, down on my knees, I crashed. I called Chris and told him I needed to go to the hospital. I was certain it was a stone, as my Papa gets them quite regularly. Oh, the joys of childhood memories, my first bicycle, playing dollhouse, and Dad shaking a small paper cups saying, "Becky, come look at the size of this one!" Ewwww, Daddy!
Chris broke the speed limit and the sound barrier, getting home for me. He found me on the floor in the kitchen attempting to fix Liam a bottle. It wasn't going too well for Liam or I at that moment. It is a funny thing, 6 month olds just don't reason well with, "Sweetie, I know you're hungry, but Mama can't reach the formula from the fetal position here on the floor. "Chris got me quickly to the nearest hospital. Note: Don't ever admit to the nurse you think you have a kidney stone. That gets you triaged somewhere in between a bad case of the runs and bubble gum in the hair. So after an hour of rocking back and forth, they finally called me back. What was worse than the pain, at that point, was I felt like I had to pee, soooooooo bad. You might think, so? But try this, drink 2 beers, 6 glasses of Kool-aid, 2 gallons of water and imagine you are in a public place and unable to relieve yourself and that is how I felt. I could pee and then IMMEDIATELY, it felt like I had not even gone. Like that guy in Greek mythology, who pushes a rock up the hill only to have it roll right back down endlessly. Was that Dante? So that was me, pushing a kidney stone endlessly uphill... OK over dramatic. Continuing on, this whole time Liam was an angel. Screaming and laughing, entertaining the masses. Sometimes he would get really still and just stare at me, waiting until I would turn my head and look at him and then he would yell delightedly. That helped. Almost. We go back into the room and after endless questions they brought out a sword, used for fencing. Oh, wait that wasn't a sword, that was the 3 foot shot they intended to stick in my ass! With no exaggeration, the needle was this long
--------------------------------------------------------------------------, and it went all the way into my bum muscle. They said, if it is a kidney stone, this will help, if not, it won't. But will it help with the pee thing? "You mean {Medical term}: "sense of urgency pertaining to bladder issues" Yes that?!?!?! Perhaps. It didn't by the way, but it did help the kidney pain which was really nice. Time for a CAT scan. Cool, cause those don't hurt. So into a gown I go. Chris was tying the strings and he says, "Your underwear is on backwards." Funny I didn't notice. Wheelchair, came to take me to radiology. Now let me rewind for a moment. Remember when I gave birth, and I was mortified because my body hadn't seen a razor in ages. And I am Portuguese? And we are a friendly but a hairy people? Well, I was determined not to have a replay of that humiliation. Granted I was pretty safe from reenacting, the whole pooping on the table during a CAT scan, but ya know, I could do a little better than that even. So before we left for the hospital, I told Chris, "I have to take a shower. I absolutely have to even, if I crawl into it." He truly believed I was delirious. I didn't care, not one bit. There are just some things that can be accomplished through the pain. Fastforwarding now. So as I climb onto the CAT scan table, though in pain, I am so pleased, because I know, I know, not only will I not poop all over the table, I am also quite well groomed. As the gentleman/radiologist waits, I modestly climb upon the table. I look down at my smooth legs...and I notice a like 1 x 1 inch patch of like mountain man hair on my knee. How did I miss that????? "Uncross your legs please." The man says. Great, now I have drawn attention to it! So after the Cat scan, there was blood draws and more waiting. And peeing. Lots and lots of peeing. The doc came in and says, you have a kidney stone, it is about 3/4 of the way through your system. The worst should be over." "But what about the feeling of urgency????" Apparently you just have to wait that out. Oh they gave me something that would supposedly help, but all it did was turn my pee pumpkin orange. Nice, but not what I had in mind. They gave me Vicodin for the pain and Phenergen for the nausea. Weird I thought. It won't help the urgent pee problem and I feel better. I thought the worst was over. What nausea? Oh, sweet, sweet naivete. The pain he mentioned, that would be the excruciating, sobbing into my pillow and praying for mercy type pain that occurred that night. And the nausea that followed quickly after. I don't take Vicodin. It just makes me high, but doesn't touch the pain. I tried it when I got my wisdom teeth out. So Chris was rubbing my back, which helped a bit, when I panted, "Go....to...the...Pharmacy....and....GET THE VICODIN!!!!" "But that doesn't work for you," Chris wisely stated. "I don't care......maybe if I'm high....I won't mind....." By the time he returned I was onto the nausea but the pain had gotten bearable. So I took the Phenergen and it knocked me out.
So that is the story of my kidney stone and I have added a few pictures, to help compliment the story. Bottom line? It sucked. But I am so looking forward to possibly starting my own rock collection. "Liam, come see the size of this one!" "Ewww, Mama, no!" Good times, good times.

What It Felt Like......

Yeeeee-Ouch!

Object Enlarged to Show Texture.....

Hmmm.....It felt a lot bigger than that on the way out.... Apparently, objects in hindsight may be smaller than they appear.....

A Solution For Crawling Baby and Dog Hair ! ! !

The writing might be too small, but the caption actually says, "Make your children work for their keep." Isn't that great? And I thought I would no longer be able to have the dogs inside---but no! I just have to make Liam clean up after them! Perfect! The article says, "After the birth of a child, there is always the temptation to say, yes it's cute but what can it do?" [It???? OMG! ] The article continues, "Until recently, the answer was simply, lay there and cry." [I know, how dare IT just lay there and cry!!!! The nerve. ]The closing statements are the absolute best: "There is no child exploitation involved, [thank God!] the kid is doing what he does anyway, crawling. [Wait, now IT is a kid and IT crawls...Here comes the clincher:] "But with Baby Mops he's also learning resposibility and a healthy work ethic." Genius! Where can I get one?

Define Irony.......

Here was our snow day with no snow!!!! We drove for hours and couldn't find snow for nuttin'! Oh, I take that back, I found one small pile when I tripped over a log and landed in it. Look at my poochies; they were so happy! And look at the cutest bear in the whole woods--Liam the polar bear! We had a fantastic day. Chris and I just couldn't stop oohing and ahhhing over little man. Wish we could have found some more snow though! We saw the most amazing waterfall and the mountain air was delicious. Well, til later!

Go Ahead And Shoot Me Now...

I think I am dying. Very slowly. It's not snot I keep blowing out of my nose it is brain matter. At least that is what it feels like. Add to my list of things no one warned me about #435 Mom's don't get sick days. OMG I am so tired and Liam is sick too, so he is very cuddly and clingy and I am NOT complaining about that part. I love the cuddles. I am complaining that all I want to do is crawl under the covers and come out some time next week. It is funny I will use kleenex like in this picture and Liam will look at me quizzically and then pull the kleenex out of my nose and wave it around. He looks at me like, "Hey that doesn't belong there!" Yesterday it was so wonderful and warm, today it is soooo windy and stormy. I love both but to have them back to back is really weird. Being sick, sitting in the sun felt yummy, but this rain matches my cold so I like it too.
So Liam is now 6 months old and he learns new things every day. Guess what he learned to do during church yesterday? How to blow big wet rasberries. I know God has a sense of humor, I mean look at the platypus, so he must have enjoyed Liam's joyful. "Ttthhhhhbbbttt!!!"
Well that is all for now, til later!

Xena !!!!!!!! No Peaches For You !!!!!

We are all under the weather in this house, and even Liam is feeling a bit off.
Well there is one thing that always makes Liam laugh and that is Xena. That one picture that Liam looks like he is crying, he was actually screaming with absolute joy. Now if I could just get Xena to stop trying to lick his mouth. Yuck!!!!!!!

Love Bites

Ha Ha Ha, no it doesn't really, it is just that my adorable Cupid kept eating the Valentine heart. Isn't he the cutest Cupid? Such a little ham for the camera. Hope you all had a great day!

Happy (Early) Valentine's Day

I find that I look less tired in black and white pictures.... I am working from 7 pm until 7 am right now. Whew this was a lot easier when I was in my twenties. Now that I am an aged 3-0, I just ain't what I used to be. I miss my little guy and I want to raise my coffee cups to all the working moms out there. It is hard to be away from him. Who will kiss his feet and tummy when he wakes up this morning? Well, OK, his dad will, but, but who will make him laugh and....You know what? I am just not needed when Daddy is around, sniff sniff. Not only that but now when Liam cries, only Bailey, the yellow lab that is horrible with kids, is a sure thing to make him smile. Signing off now, yours truly, Chopped Liver.

Where's the Beef?

Apparently it is at the tire shop. We got free beef with our new tires. Yup, you read that correctly, free beef. Anyone else find that a little odd? Was there a board meeting about this? Did people actually sit around a table brainstorming and someone said, "I've got it! Free beef!" and then the other board members unanimously agreed? Perhaps there was one board member that said, "Guys that is just weird!" Was he out-voted? Shunned? Fired? I raise my beef jerky stick to you, oh lone hold out, good try.

Well Don't I Feel Like a Horse's Ass

So I have weaned my sweet baby from boob to bottle. Jack Johnson (right side) went quietly into the night, and, no I was not cursed with droopy boobs, thank you for asking. Sugar Ray, (left side) is not going down with out a fight. Ever the champion, he is really trying to stick around. Why, you may ask have I named my breasts? Because my husband does not want to talk about breastfeeding, but if I speak of boxing, he will listen and commiserate until he realizes what I am REALLY talking about. So Sugar Ray is enormous and I cannot even begin to describe how painful this is. I had no idea! Just chalk it up to #432 on the long list of "Why didn't someone warn me." So I go to a website about BFing and type in, "painful weaning" and I learn that many women find it soothing to put cold cabbage leaves in their bras, during this process. Whatever, as if, I laugh! Fast forward a few hours. I am at work, I am in terrible pain and I am eating my salad for lunch. Suddenly I notice there is cabbage in my dish. I look around, and I frantically dig out all the purple leaves and shove them into my bra. OMG instant relief! Which wore off about 3 seconds later. I run upstairs and look at that BFing website. What an idiot I am, it is GREEN cabbage, not red. Silly me, won't I think twice next time before shoving half of my lunch into my bra! So still desperate and in pain, I raided the police officer's first aid cabinet. Perhaps I would find some stray cabbage. Nope, but I did find a large box that said ice pack, so I removed the large box and carried my treasure into the ladies room. I will just take one of these, I think. I opened the large box and removed....ONE ICE PACK! OMG I think, I can't shove this giant thing in my bra, you'll be able to tell! Not to mention what is with this ice pack? If an officer is injured bad enough to need an ice pack this big, he really should be at the hospital...I digress, so I have no choice and I activate it and put inside my bra. I smooth it out and it feels soooooooo good. No one will notice, I think. Then I faced the mirror and began to laugh. Now, I am C on one side and E on the other AND apparently I now also have a rectangular boob. I am not removing that ice pack for anyone, but there is a police officer up in dispatch and nothing to hide behind when I walk in. So from the hallway, I call out, "OK, I am back from lunch you can go, thank you!" but he doesn't leave. So me being the skilled improviser that I am, I backed into the room and began studying the flyers on the wall. "OK, thank you!" "Are you going to watch the Super Bowl?" He asks. Oh, great, these guys always want to run out of here, but today we are chatty Cathy! "Oh, yeah I am rooting for the commercials." I say as I slide sideways behind the water cooler and from there low crawl to the computer console. Boy did that officer think I was a freak! Oh well, I pretty much am, I mean when I get off work, I have a chilled salad waiting in my bra, cuz I think I left some leaves in there. Hey, anyone want to keep a six pack in there nice and cold for the big game?