What Little Tough Guy

Liam is such a ham, but holy cow he is really tough. He leans in like he will kiss you and then "BAM!" Head butt! Which he finds really funny. If he drops something on his head or you accidently run him into the wall, (not that I have, but you know IF it happened) he says, "AAHH." With a scowl and then he is over it. But do not, I repeat, do not anger the baby by removing an inappropriate-for-playing-with-object, unless you are fully prepared to replace it with an appropriate toy, because man, you will incur the wrath of the tiny man, and it is not pretty. Shoot howdy, he has really learned to express himself this past week. I feel bad for him because he is cutting so many teeth at once. 2 new ones on the bottom and 4 on the top. He is sooooo fussy which for him means he is kind of whiny about 20% like a normal baby instead of the freakishly good baby he usually is 95% of the time. Yeah, poor me.
So I went to Target today and I had the "Baby Pile" that had diapers, wipes, formula etc., and I had the "Maybe Pile." which had all the stuff (like new towels and egads, a lace blouse), that I wanted but was pretty sure would go over budget. Yup, "Maybe Pile" never made it home. Sigh. But gosh darn it I bought that Dean Koontz book, cause Mama needs her favorite author. Anyway I was trying to pay, and Liam just flipped out. Arching his back and totally making a scene, and I say to him, totally exasperated, "Why are you crying? You got everything in your pile. I'm the one who should be crying!" I am really not used to him being fussy.

I Like to be Daring....BUT NOT WITH MY FOOD !!!

I am at work, and all I can think of is food. I am starving and having very bad food luck today. first I bit into my turkey sandwhich and it was bad, so after spitting it out and wiping down my tongue, I ate a TV dinner which had portions small enough for an infant. Then I had a Slim Fast which promised that it now, "Controls hunger longer," but I was hungry IMMEDIATELY, so how does that help me? Finally I had ANOTHER TV dinner, only to realize what I thought was chicken nuggets, was fish nuggets, EWWWWW!!!!!!! Ok, first of all my dad and I have a "nothing from the sea" policy for food, and secondly have you ever bitten into fish expecting chicken? Holy crap! It is kind of like drinking a root beer you thought was a Dr. Pepper, but sooo much worse! I may be repeating myself, but when I was pregnant, I thought my sandwich smelled really weird, but who knows...so I had my co-worker Selene smell it for me. She said "It's fine, smells just like ham." And handed it back. I chucked that thing so far across the room into the trash. "What did you do that for??" she asked, "BECAUSE IT WAS TURKEY!!!!!!!!!" OMG I hate food mishaps, I love to eat and I take my eating very seriously!!!!! Chris, can't stand the whole process of eating; he does it because he has to but he rarely enjoys it. Why can't I be like that. When I imagine heaven, I honestly see myself eating whole entire feasts. Sad I know..... Speaking of daring events I am completely naked, au nautrel, free as a bird....medication wise that is. Not only did I stop taking my birth control pills months ago, which Chris and I have deemed fondly, our game of "Russian Roulette" which, if you read this blog at all, you know is not a game being played with blanks! Ha Ha Ha....sorry Mom.... I digress, what I mean is, I stopped taking my Zoloft. It was accidental at first, I realized I hadn't taken it in quite some time. Then I realized it was too late; it was already out of my system (five days +), soooooooo what the heck, whether I immediately started taking them again, or adopted a nervous yet excited, "wait and see," attitude, it would make no difference. No matter what, if I decide to go back on them, I have to wait 4 weeks for the drug to take effect. I have been on them for over a decade and the first night I was so scared and tense. I kept giving my concerns to God and then taking them back. Part of my chemical imbalance includes obsessive thoughts and I have had a them once or twice, but it was really easy to "reboot" and force myself to think different thoughts. Now this was very minor compared to the extreme obsesive thoughts I am capable of having, but it is really good to know that I may now have the maturity and stubborness to fight it. My doctors told me after pregnancy my chemical imbalance may right itself. I have no problem going back on them if I must, I am not ashamed. I will keep you updated. So far, I can honestly say, my range of emotions has been more real and more vivid than I can remember...and I like it.

Lots of Fun In the Summer Sun

So my mom and pop in law, bought us an inflatable pool. Love it! It gets over 110 degrees during the summer so don't think I won't be joining little man. At first he gave us these long suffering looks, like, "What did I do to deserve this? Was I bad? Did I upset you somehow?" And lots of over dramatic, "Ohhhhhhs" like we had first filled the pool with ice cubes. After awhile he decided, it wasn't so bad. Then after we removed his 5 pound diaper, he was even happier. Chris says Liam's sun hat is "gay." I say he can't look gay, he is just a baby. This conversation went much like the Halloween costume, "is he a duck or a chicken" conversation where we must agree to disagree. Not gay.

Liam As The Pitt Bull Whisperer

Pictures

Happy Mother's Day to Me...Waaaaaaahhhhh

Here is what I get to do on my very first Mother's day:

Drive to work, which is 3 counties, 8 freeways and 12 cities away for a grand total of 150 miles round trip! Do you feel sorry for me? Just a tiny bit? OK, then I feel better. I actually do not mind working tonight at all. My friend's shift that I am covering, has 2 little ones that will actually remember and notice if she is not there! But gosh darn it, I am taking next Mother's day off! And maybe even dare I say.... Liam's first birthday???? I have been working a lot this month; making hay while the sun shines so to speak. My in laws just moved here and there is a lot of work to be had at my old job and the extra money doesn't hurt. So far this month, though I have already put over 1000 miles on my truck and about $400 in gas. Yikes! I dunno how much it is where you live, but here it is running at $3.15 on a good day and $3.35 on a bad day. I am in backgrounds for a job at a local police department, and I am soooo excited because it is only 6 miles, one city, same county and 8 minutes away. PD backgrounds take forever, though so until about August, I'll be doing the long commute 2-4 times a week. I have my Polygraph on Thursday at 10am after an all night shift. I may sleep through it...while hooked to the machine. I am either a really good polygraph subject or a horrific one, depending on which way you look at it. I was raised Catholic, and that guilt stands out like massive red flags on a lie detector test. Last one I took, the guy asked me if I had ever stolen anything, besides the porcelain figurine, that I admitted to stealing from Inga in the second grade. Which by the way I would have gotten away with had my brother not told on me. So I said, no and then after the test the polygraphist said, I did fine, but what was I thinking about when he asked me the stealing question? He was curious. Oh, I said laughing, this morning Chris told me to stop stealing his work socks and I couldn't stop thinking about that. He found that very amusing. When he asked me about, if I had ever done drugs, he stopped the test and asked if I was paying attention because the reading was SO flat! Nope, I just never did them. I'd like to think I would never have experimented with the "Mary Jane" but truth is no one ever offered, so I don't know what I would have actually done, had the situation arose. I probably would have said no to marijuana. I am POSITIVE I would have said no to anything else. I took a sip of a wine cooler at a Vons grocery expo I was working when I was 17, and felt bad about it for ages. Oh yeah and I had 1/8 of a can of Zima at a Vons company picnic that same year. Bad Vons, bad! Oh, great now I am going to be thinking about this, when the guy asks me if I have ever had problems with alcohol. Thanks Catholic guilt.

Happy Mother's Day, guys!

Hawaii 5-O Baby

Look at that face, can't you just tell he is up to no good? I have been working a lot lately and I miss little man soooooooo much. I am trying not to work 2 days in a row but the truth is since I pretty much only work nights, I am totally useless and mostly unconcious the next day. At least I get to feed Liam his breakfast in the morning and when I go to bed at 9 am it is his first nap time, so we cuddle. Well first he fights sleep and smacks me in the head several times, then we cuddle. No wait, first he goes "Dadadadadada" for a few minutes, then "TTTTTTTTHHHHBBBBBBBBTTTTTTTT" then smacks me in the head and THEN we cuddle. I love it. Only 8 more hours plus 2 on the road til cuddle time!

Man I am Beat!

Look at that mischievious face! Is it any wonder I haven't posted in awhile? This little guy is a riot, but whew, he keeps me hoppin'! He isn't crawling yet---what he does is plants his face in the carpet and scootches his butt up about 1/2 an inch, with the end result of, well, frustration. Mainly he just rolls over and over, everywhere he wants to go. Oh my, when he starts crawling there will be no stopping him......

No Belching, No Farting

Did I ever mention, Chris and I have a " no belching, no farting clause" in our marriage? Before we got married Chris said that we would not be doing these things, (this was shortly after a visit to our friend's house where "S" ran over and farted on "D"s leg), because they kill the romance. We are coming up on NINE years of marriage, this July 4th and I have still NEVER heard Chris fart or burp outside of the bathroom or occasionally during sleep. (Oh he's gonna kill me!) I on the other hand have been nicknamed "Stinky" on many occasions. What can I say, silent but violent, just doesn't happen for me...What was my point? Oh, unfortunately Liam seems to be getting all my bad traits. Stinky feet and massive flatulence. Well, wait, I don't have massive flatulence but, you know what I mean. He also has good traits from me like big brown eyes and strong opinions. From Chris, so far his hair and nails grown at an amazingly fast rate, he is VERY tough and he loves to be outdoors. So far so good, I think. I can deal with a little stank when it comes from such an awesome good natured baby!
Wow that was a totally random entry....

Jesus Died For Us

When I look down at the miracle that is my son, my breath catches and my chest tightens. I pray each night, "Please allow me to raise him to be emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually, intellectually and psychologically healthy. Please let me raise him to be a good Christian man. A warrior for you Jesus." I am able to do this because Jesus died for me. I am not worthy, but he thinks I am worth it. I am thankful for all that I have this Easter and every day. I pray that someday far, far in the future, Chris and I will be able to sit on a porch somewhere surrounded by Liam's children. There are no words to express my gratitude. This life I lead is amazing.

Hoppy Easter !

It's my Adorabunny! and my Pitt Bunny! The things I put this little guy through!!!!! Hmmm...what will I think of next????

Liam's First Love...

Meet Taylor, Liam's first girlfriend. Aren't they adorable!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Those of you who have been with me a while will remember Taylor's mom Dorothy. Remember she and I started "trying" at the same time? She was my next door neighbor and our husbands worked together? She had Trevor and then almost a year later to the day, I had Liam, and now here is Taylor. Oh, that year she was pregnant and we were still trying was soooooooooo long. If "past" me could see "present" me today, I would have passed out with joy. I still sometimes can't breathe when I look at Liam and think of all God has blessed my family with this last year. I said it before and I'll say it again; if this is all just a dream, I don't want to wake up.

Carseat Required !

This poor baby will tolerate anything! We were trying to take a picture of little man "behind the wheel" of my dad's new car, but failed to notice the seatbelt height. As you can see, he really wasn't impressed... Speaking of car seats, Liam went to his doc appt. on Monday and he is 19 pounds 14 oz, 27 inches long, which means time for the next car seat size soon, I think.

My Dream Guy

My dream guy has a bald patch, a pot belly and uncontrollable flatulence. He screams when he doesn't get his way and he demands to be PAMPERed. He constantly interupts me and won't let me sleep in. He loves long walks and lets me push him around. He bears a strong resemblence to the Michelin man. He has a bit of a drinking problem and often hits the bottle. My dream guy has only two teeth and a massive drooling problem. Doesn't he sound just perfect? Trust me--he is.

The Biggest Lap Dog...IN THE WORLD ! ! !

Riley has some self awareness issues. Apparently she thinks she is about the size of a Chihuahua and does not in fact weigh 75+. Hey, there is a reason we call my beloved pitt "Fat Ass." Unfortunately she is not known for her scholarly ways...Today Riley was sitting in front of Liam's swing and every time he swung forward he would kick her in the head. Sometimes Liam would even get a toe in Riley's eye. She just sat there, like, "Well, OK, guess this is the way it's gonna be." As Liam screamed in delight. And "they" say pitt's are all vicious...yeah right.

Jerry the Big Giraffe...

"His neck is looooooong, his legs are stroooooong." That is the song I often sing to Liam. He LOVES his giraffe. So as a special treat, when we went to the zoo yesterday, Jerry was reunited with his flock...(herd? gaggle? pack? school?) When Liam is older, we well show him these pictures and tell him how we rescued Jerry from a life of confinement and oppression. Ha! Just kidding.....Actually considering how much Jerry is chewed on, pulled on and thrown around, his life may have been less stressful at the zoo.

Kidney Stoned

Have you ever had a kidney stone? Hmm... No? Then perhaps you've had someone weighing approximately 300 pounds, pogostick on your kidney? It is truly a joy to behold.
So I had lunch with a friend, and everything seemed normal. Then I went home and OMG some invisible Mohammed Ali-like person punched me repeatedly in the left kidney. Thud, down on my knees, I crashed. I called Chris and told him I needed to go to the hospital. I was certain it was a stone, as my Papa gets them quite regularly. Oh, the joys of childhood memories, my first bicycle, playing dollhouse, and Dad shaking a small paper cups saying, "Becky, come look at the size of this one!" Ewwww, Daddy!
Chris broke the speed limit and the sound barrier, getting home for me. He found me on the floor in the kitchen attempting to fix Liam a bottle. It wasn't going too well for Liam or I at that moment. It is a funny thing, 6 month olds just don't reason well with, "Sweetie, I know you're hungry, but Mama can't reach the formula from the fetal position here on the floor. "Chris got me quickly to the nearest hospital. Note: Don't ever admit to the nurse you think you have a kidney stone. That gets you triaged somewhere in between a bad case of the runs and bubble gum in the hair. So after an hour of rocking back and forth, they finally called me back. What was worse than the pain, at that point, was I felt like I had to pee, soooooooo bad. You might think, so? But try this, drink 2 beers, 6 glasses of Kool-aid, 2 gallons of water and imagine you are in a public place and unable to relieve yourself and that is how I felt. I could pee and then IMMEDIATELY, it felt like I had not even gone. Like that guy in Greek mythology, who pushes a rock up the hill only to have it roll right back down endlessly. Was that Dante? So that was me, pushing a kidney stone endlessly uphill... OK over dramatic. Continuing on, this whole time Liam was an angel. Screaming and laughing, entertaining the masses. Sometimes he would get really still and just stare at me, waiting until I would turn my head and look at him and then he would yell delightedly. That helped. Almost. We go back into the room and after endless questions they brought out a sword, used for fencing. Oh, wait that wasn't a sword, that was the 3 foot shot they intended to stick in my ass! With no exaggeration, the needle was this long
--------------------------------------------------------------------------, and it went all the way into my bum muscle. They said, if it is a kidney stone, this will help, if not, it won't. But will it help with the pee thing? "You mean {Medical term}: "sense of urgency pertaining to bladder issues" Yes that?!?!?! Perhaps. It didn't by the way, but it did help the kidney pain which was really nice. Time for a CAT scan. Cool, cause those don't hurt. So into a gown I go. Chris was tying the strings and he says, "Your underwear is on backwards." Funny I didn't notice. Wheelchair, came to take me to radiology. Now let me rewind for a moment. Remember when I gave birth, and I was mortified because my body hadn't seen a razor in ages. And I am Portuguese? And we are a friendly but a hairy people? Well, I was determined not to have a replay of that humiliation. Granted I was pretty safe from reenacting, the whole pooping on the table during a CAT scan, but ya know, I could do a little better than that even. So before we left for the hospital, I told Chris, "I have to take a shower. I absolutely have to even, if I crawl into it." He truly believed I was delirious. I didn't care, not one bit. There are just some things that can be accomplished through the pain. Fastforwarding now. So as I climb onto the CAT scan table, though in pain, I am so pleased, because I know, I know, not only will I not poop all over the table, I am also quite well groomed. As the gentleman/radiologist waits, I modestly climb upon the table. I look down at my smooth legs...and I notice a like 1 x 1 inch patch of like mountain man hair on my knee. How did I miss that????? "Uncross your legs please." The man says. Great, now I have drawn attention to it! So after the Cat scan, there was blood draws and more waiting. And peeing. Lots and lots of peeing. The doc came in and says, you have a kidney stone, it is about 3/4 of the way through your system. The worst should be over." "But what about the feeling of urgency????" Apparently you just have to wait that out. Oh they gave me something that would supposedly help, but all it did was turn my pee pumpkin orange. Nice, but not what I had in mind. They gave me Vicodin for the pain and Phenergen for the nausea. Weird I thought. It won't help the urgent pee problem and I feel better. I thought the worst was over. What nausea? Oh, sweet, sweet naivete. The pain he mentioned, that would be the excruciating, sobbing into my pillow and praying for mercy type pain that occurred that night. And the nausea that followed quickly after. I don't take Vicodin. It just makes me high, but doesn't touch the pain. I tried it when I got my wisdom teeth out. So Chris was rubbing my back, which helped a bit, when I panted, "Go....to...the...Pharmacy....and....GET THE VICODIN!!!!" "But that doesn't work for you," Chris wisely stated. "I don't care......maybe if I'm high....I won't mind....." By the time he returned I was onto the nausea but the pain had gotten bearable. So I took the Phenergen and it knocked me out.
So that is the story of my kidney stone and I have added a few pictures, to help compliment the story. Bottom line? It sucked. But I am so looking forward to possibly starting my own rock collection. "Liam, come see the size of this one!" "Ewww, Mama, no!" Good times, good times.

What It Felt Like......

Yeeeee-Ouch!

Object Enlarged to Show Texture.....

Hmmm.....It felt a lot bigger than that on the way out.... Apparently, objects in hindsight may be smaller than they appear.....

A Solution For Crawling Baby and Dog Hair ! ! !

The writing might be too small, but the caption actually says, "Make your children work for their keep." Isn't that great? And I thought I would no longer be able to have the dogs inside---but no! I just have to make Liam clean up after them! Perfect! The article says, "After the birth of a child, there is always the temptation to say, yes it's cute but what can it do?" [It???? OMG! ] The article continues, "Until recently, the answer was simply, lay there and cry." [I know, how dare IT just lay there and cry!!!! The nerve. ]The closing statements are the absolute best: "There is no child exploitation involved, [thank God!] the kid is doing what he does anyway, crawling. [Wait, now IT is a kid and IT crawls...Here comes the clincher:] "But with Baby Mops he's also learning resposibility and a healthy work ethic." Genius! Where can I get one?